You can't do it all alone.

Whatever your pursuit is.

This is where I messed up, massively.

This previous season, I moved 4 hours away from home.

To get out of the comforts of my hometown and focus solely on my career.

Overly confident, stubborn and thinking I know best, I thought I needed to be alone and get rid of distraction to 'just focus on football'.

A thought-process driven by my ego.

Coupled with my introversion, this led me to be completely isolated for a brief period.

It turned out to be very harmful, personally and professionally.

Without any proper guidance, I:

• made poor decisions on and off the pitch

• blamed others for my shortfalls and complained about my circumstances

• avoided responsibility for my actions

I had no other perspective on my problems, someone to look at my problems from a different lens.

Which made handling setbacks were more difficult.

Dealing with injury, non selection, losing football games.

An accumulation of this meant I wasn't performing where I needed to perform.

I relied so heavily on the football to paper over the cracks that I didn't set up for when things may have gone wrong.

I got bogged down and didn't enjoy the passion I have loved ever since I can remember.

I had no guardrails, which at first I thought was liberating.

But at 24, I still know very little.

I completely overlooked the support and guidance that my parents, friends, managers and teammates gave me up until this point.

We're More Alone Than Ever Before

I, and I'm sure many of you reading, are a product of modern society:

• Full of superficial connections due to social media.

• Filled with constant comparisons -"Comparison is the thief of joy"

• Encourages individualism and self-reliance.

• Increased job mobility, meaning that we frequently move for work or education. Making it difficult to maintain long-term relationships.

All this at the expense of community.

So, how do we combat this?

What is a mentor?

The first mentors you ever have are your parents.

They pass down their knowledge and experience to help you gain skills, achieve goals and navigate problems to become the best version of yourself.

They provides guidance, support, and advice to someone with less experience in a specific field.

Growing up, my parents and teachers played the role of my mentors, as well as my older brother was and still is a spearhead and someone I look up to.

The times where I made big progress in my life, I've always been around great mentors.

Specifically, my time at Crystal Palace Football Club, which provided me the tools to be not just the best football player possible but also the best person I could possibly be.

I was in an environment surround by staff and players, all who played the role of mentors, including:

• chefs

• kitmen

• physios

• doctors

• coaches

• managers

• psychologists

• education staff

• head of academy

• first team players

• player liaison staff

• strength and conditioning coaches

I think I can speak for most of the boys to say we didn’t realise how good we. had it during that time.

Nothing else to worry about but to play, perform and win.

Always fond memories looking back.

The Most Elite Had Mentors

Regardless of age, experience, you should never stop learning.

Everybody needs a mentor.

Having the right ones can streamline your growth and gain you access to valuable connections.

They are a huge source of knowledge. The best athletes will always point to a leader in their life, some examples here.

1. Cristiano Ronaldo and Sir Alex Ferguson:

Impact: Ferguson mentored Ronaldo during his early years at Manchester United, helping him develop his talent, professionalism, and mental toughness.

"He taught me everything, he was like a father to me"

2. Lionel Messi and Ronaldinho:

Impact: When Messi joined FC Barcelona, Ronaldinho took him under his wing. Messi has often spoken about Ronaldinho’s influence in his early career, helping him integrate and develop his unique playing style.

Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan

Impact: Kobe Bryant often sought advice from Michael Jordan, who provided him with guidance on and off the court.

“First he was an irritant, but then secondly, it became ‘man it’s a sense of respect’”

Not A One-Way Street

You need to offer your value in exchange, most of the times doing a jobs which are too time consuming for them.

Your enthusiasm and energy being the most valuable skills (I think) you have when you don't have much else to offer.

People want to be mentors too. You will need to take inititave to seek out your own mentors.

Finding The Right Mentor:

1) Research and Identify Potential Mentors

• Use LinkedIn and Professional Networks: Search for professionals in your field and join relevant groups.

• In my opinion posting content online is the best way to get valuable connections.

• Attend Networking Events: Participate in industry events, and seminars.

2) Make Initial Contact

• Craft a Personalized Message: Introduce yourself, explain why you admire their work, and express your desire for mentorship.

*Example Message:
Hi [Name], I’m [Your Name], a [Your Position/Field].

I’ve been following your work in [specific area] and greatly admire your achievements, especially [specific accomplishment].

I’m currently looking to develop my skills in [specific area], and I believe your guidance would be invaluable.

Would you be open to a brief conversation to discuss the possibility of mentorship?

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Best regards, [Your Name]

3) Build Relationship

• Show Genuine Interest: Ask thoughtful questions and actively listen.

• Offer Value: Assist with small tasks, share fresh perspectives, or help with research.

• Regular Check-ins: Schedule regular meetings to discuss progress and seek advice.

• Show Appreciation: Regularly thank your mentor for their guidance and support.

If you got to the end, thank you for taking the time to read it. Still new to the writing process.

If you have any suggestions on what you would like to know feel free to let me know.

Have a great weekend,

James